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Coming soon to a convenience store near you: Vacation in a Bottle, Blue Cow and Drank. These are “functional beverages.” That is: beverages with certain added elements (like amino acids or vitamins) that promise a health benefit—in this case, relaxation.

Over 300 new energy drinks were introduced in the 5 year period between 2003 and 2008. The marketplace is pretty saturated with uppers, so food scientists are busy creating downers. There are three currently on the market in the U.S.

Vacation in a Bottle says:

Just let the good vibes flow and your worries go. Take time to unwind from the daily grind and pour yourself a vacation that never has to end.
Caffeine free
Low calorie
Low sodium
Lightly carbonated, with all natural flavors!

And the ingredient list? Not nearly so relaxing:

Carbonated water, cane sugar, natural flavors, citric acid, potassium benzoate, potassium citrate, potassium sorbate, L-theanine, L-threonine, maltodextrin, lycii berry extract, sucralose, acesulfame potassium, niacin, pyridoxine hydrochloride, cyanocobalamin.

ViB gets it’s relaxation from the amino acid L-theanine. Theanine has psychoactive properties and is able to cross the blood-brain barrier. It is present in small quantities in green tea. There are many ingredients here to cause concern, including sucralose and acesulfame potassium, two artificial sweeteners many have severe reactions to.

Blue Cow (the opposite of Red Bull, get it?) calls itself The Original Relaxation Drink. An ingredient list is not readily available, but the FAQs on the website include the following information:

What’s in Blue Cow that will help me relax?
Our proprietary blend of safe, relaxation-inducing ingredients includes Chamomile, Hops, Passion Flower, Hawthorne Berry, Lemon Balm and most importantly, Suntheanine®.

What is Suntheanine®?*
Suntheanine® is Taiyo International’s patented brand of pure L-Theanine, the primary amino acid found in green tea.

Chamomile, Hops, Passion Flower, Hawthorne Berry and Lemon Balm are gentle relaxants in the world of herbal medicine. Chamomile, for example, would be an excellent tea for a child who is having trouble sleeping. Here again, the basis for the drink is sound, but additional ingredients for coloring and flavoring could poison an otherwise healthful drink.

Finally, Drank, whose tagline is “Slow Your Roll.” Again, the website offered no specific ingredient label information other than:

“Drank” contains a combination of Valerian Root, Rose Hips, and Melatonin designed to “slow your roll” after a hectic day. A calming beverage, Drank is formulated to relax the body, mind, and soul. 

Valerian root is a strong herb for the relaxation of the central nervous system. In combination with the hormone melatonin, Valerian is strong enough to help an insomniac get to sleep. I am not aware of the dosage in a can of Drank, but it is possible that several cans might provide enough impairment to cause problems if the drinker gets behind the wheel of a car. This beverage would need some serious help in the flavor department: Valerian smells very much like (please forgive the most accurate, if indelicate comparison) animal feces.

Of even greater concern to me in regards to Drank, however, is its roots. “Purple Drank” is the nickname of an illegal recreational drug popular among the hip hop community in the American South. It is concocted by mixing codeine-containing cough syrup with Sprite. The purple color of the cough syrup lends its name to the drug. Three rappers: Pimp C, Big Moe and DJ Screw, all died from ingesting this drug. Now, I am not implying that Drank contains the active ingredient that makes this such a dangerous drug. But I find the name and the purple can to be more than suggestive.

If you need help relaxing after a trying day, may I recommend some real food solutions: how about a lovely cup of tea? Warm, soothing green tea has the very same amino acid that has been isolated to create these drinks (along with other chemicals that offer synergy). One teabag of green tea and one of Chamomile, Hops, Passion Flower, Hawthorne Berry or Lemon Balm in a large mug ought to do the trick. If you like it sweet, some raw honey is just the thing. Perhaps you’d prefer warm milk, the true original relaxation beverage. If you like it bubbly, I find kombucha to be very relaxing. For extra-strength tough days, an occasional glass of wine fills the bill for me. Want something more cutting-edge? Go borrow “Wild Fermentation” from your library and make your own wine! We already have a strong medicine chest available to us in the real foods we consume. Let’s not tear them apart, take just what we think is the active ingredient and mix it with unhealthful ingredients.

Parents, be aware that these beverages do have active ingredients (much like the caffeine in Red Bull) that may cause noticeable personality changes in your child. Please visit the sites above and become aware of the labels, catch phrases and ingredients.

This post is part of the Natural Cures Blog Carnival, hosted by Hartkeisonline and Prevention not Prescriptions.