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first married meal by tempophage

Readers, Heather needs help!

My problem is the saboteur is in my own house in the form of a husband. Lets just say that he is having trouble considering food from a nourishing healthy point of view, and is still stuck in the habits from his childhood. Currently if I open my cupboard there are frosted flakes in it ARG! He is scared of raw milk. He will eat an entire bag of Doritoes. Meanwhile, I’m fermenting and soaking and growing vegetables in the back yard. Praying the whole time that he’ll become more adventurous, maybe just give it a try….Anyone have suggestions for a resistant husband?

I’ve been really blessed in our real food journey. My husband has been on board most of my wild dietary changes. It’s true that not everything I cook is gourmet quality (pretty large understatement here), and it’s a far cry from the food of his youth, but he’s agreed to at least taste almost everything I make. He hasn’t gone the kombucha/kefir/yogurt route with us, but he’s fine with raw milk and fermented relishes in small portions.

I’ve overcome some resistance from the kids, but I think they are easier to convince than a husband. I mean, it’s Mom’s food or PB&J here, I don’t cook separately for anyone. When they start to feel better, have more energy and sharper minds, they notice right away. And, I can make healthy eating a school subject. Once you start hearing the evidence for a real food diet, the objections really start to dissipate. But that’s kids: husbands sometimes don’t like to be told evidence or be forced into eating strange meals.

Part of the problem with getting adults to make healthy dietary changes is that food is all wrapped up in our emotions. You’re bucking years of mornings spent sharing sleepy conversation with Tony the Tiger and cheering on his home team with the uniquely addictive crunch of Doritos. You’re also probably not cooking the way his Mom used to (unless he’s over 50 years old). If your home diet changes too much or too quickly, he might be terrified to think that these cherished food traditions will disappear from his life.

One piece of advice I heard seems to fit very well here: Pick the thing he eats most often and make a small change with that. I think a grown man would appreciate being asked first, not “surprised,” but that depends on the personality of your husband. You don’t want to lose his trust. Food is just food, it’s not worth risking a marriage over.

If your husband is a meat and potatoes eater, trying grassfed beef and pork over CAFO meat would be a terrific starting point. If he likes eggs, switching to eggs from pastured chickens is easy. It’s hard to imagine a man who would honestly prefer the taste of margarine over butter, but I suppose there’s one out there somewhere. And other changes, like cooking with sea salt and coconut oil rather than canola or corn, in my opinion, are “chef’s prerogative” and not something he necessarily needs to know or approve.

If your husband has a “hot issue” you might want to do some research and see if you can present your best case (one time: no nagging) from that angle. If he’s concerned about the environment, for example, you could mention how a real food diet creates less trash and discourages the corn monocropping that’s destroying our soil.

Over time, your best weapon will be the taste of the food you prepare. Delicious food is hard to resist, even if it’s not what he’s used to.

Readers, I hope you will share your best tips here for Heather. It’s important to have the support of your life partner in a real food lifestyle. What have you done to encourage your spouse down the road to real food?

This post is part of Fight Back Fridays, hosted by Food Renegade.