Classroom with Three Figures by cliff1066™, on Flickr

The idea of working in one’s own best interest is tied to the previous Monday Morning Rethinks.

  • If you’re clinging to a buzz phrase that doesn’t mean anything to you, you are parroting a lifestyle that might not suit you best.
  • If you are stuck to an old habit that really doesn’t meet your needs, you are allowing your comfort zone to dictate your circumstances.
  • If you are stuck in a brand loyalty loop, you’re not actively making choices based on your current needs.
  • If you allow experts to tell you how to live your life, you are abdicating your decision-making process to someone who might or might not know better than you.

I love the internet. How on earth did people live before the days of sitting down and Googling a question? How best to remove blood stains from a shirt, what to serve with meatloaf, the safety of DMSO for topical application, the number of stars on a 1922 United States flag…all these are easily answered by a quick search. Of course, what someone else likes with their meatloaf may not be to my family’s tastes, and just because Jane Doe up the road uses (and sells) DMSO with no side effects doesn’t make it safe. And just because my doctor says I need to have a flu shot and take a statin drug doesn’t mean I’m in line at the pharmacy.

But, you came for my story.

I am in my 20th year of homeschooling my children. When we first started, I was pretty clueless. I knew we had to find my oldest son a way out of the public school system that was destroying his calm and turning off his brain at age 10. Private schools were out of the question for us financially. We read, talked with homeschooling friends, prayed (a lot), then decided to give it a try.

In the 1990s, homeschooling was nearing the end of its pioneering movement. There were precious few resources just for us and a vocal anti-homeschooling lobby. Some experts said the goal of homeschooling was to get your children Harvard-ready. Some said it was to keep up with their public schooled peers so when you fail, they can blend back into the school system easily. Others shook their fingers at homeschoolers and blamed us for the collapse of the public school system.

The experts and trailblazers I read mostly fell into the first two categories. And my first student wanted the comfort of class hours, bells and homework. It wasn’t long before that routine started destroying my calm, though, and we found our way out. Through an eclectic course of study which included unit studies, a weekly trip to the public library and lots of field trips, our homeschool finally began to take shape.

Even now, with two children already graduated and one coming up in June, I still suffer from expert awe. I’ll read about this family’s rigorous course of study, how that one sent three children overseas to study in high school, how the other has graduated two politicians and a doctor…and wonder if I’m doing this all wrong.

Encouraging my children to challenge themselves is a big part of our homeschool. Churning out Harvard-ready students isn’t…necessarily. But it’s been a learning experience to get to the point of trust with my children and myself that I could let go of that expectation.

Now that the homeschooling movement is in its “homesteading” phase, there are how-to books, ready-made curriculum, websites, podcasts, checklists and resources enough to boggle the mind. Going to a homeschool fair is an exercise in sensory overload. The new experts praise homeschooling’s results as the first and second generation of American homeschoolers move into adulthood. As more successful homeschooling families graduate their children into the world, more experts pop up with their stories and how-tos.

The real food movement is a great thing, but each expert seems to have his or her own take on it. For some, never eating out again is the goal, for others finding healthy, local alternatives is a side business. For some, any food item purchased in a box, can or from the freezer section seems to be verboten while others blog about coupons and savings they find on the healthiest processed food available. Some eschew grocery stores altogether. One friend told me if I wasn’t making my own bread I was shortchanging my family. Another told me eating bread at all was a no-no.

But what I have to rely on is what works for my family. If my rules and regulations about a real food diet are so strict or unworkable that I’m sent running, screaming for relief to the drive-thru, then something is out of whack. Yes, it takes time. I have to look at each decision carefully and weigh its costs in time, money, energy and tolerance. Just like with homeschooling, there’s always more to learn and try and do. There are always going to be more experts to listen to, more podcasts, more web pages, more classes and documentaries and recipes and checklists and instructions. I need to keep my own goals and tolerances in mind when looking at all the possibilities.

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