sad pumpkins by massdistraction, on Flickr

One of the reasons I started this series is because I am change resistant. I am dragged kicking and screaming into changes unless they fit neatly into my own personal plan and schedule. My emotions are a two-year-old tyrant screaming “I don’t wanna!” at the top of their lungs. I don’t wanna have kids. I don’t wanna homeschool. I don’t wanna stop having kids. I don’t wanna move to the south. I don’t wanna get laid off. I don’t wanna work at home. I don’t wanna be self-employed. I don’t wanna graduate my daughter from high school. I don’t wanna be 50. Regardless of my “don’t wannas” all these changes came and went and I lived through them. I’m even better off for most of them happening.

I worked in a very overcrowded Human Resources department in 1989. My “desk” was half a work table which I shared with three computers and a printer. The files I had to access on a constant basis were three offices down the hall. After we moved into our new facility, I had, all to myself, one of only 12 window cubicles in the entire building with enough room for all my necessary documents. Still, I was so adamant about NOT wanting to move that my boss put me on the moving team just to shut me up! Looking back, I can’t imagine why I fought that change so hard.

All my kicking and screaming hasn’t managed to stop change from happening to me. It keeps on coming, giving me yet another chance to handle myself differently. I keep blowing it, but I think I’m getting closer.

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